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Before I begin this post, I’d like to wish a belated happy Thanksgiving to all my followers across the pond. 🙂

On Wednesday I woke up feeling horrendous. My cold had shifted to my chest, and I thought I’d lost my voice, but after a cup of herbal tea, managed to regain somewhat of a croak.

Heckler (who was also suffering) picked me up at 3.30, and drove us to the local supermarket to buy the ingredients for that evening’s dinner, and breakfast for the two mornings. He also bought various cold medicines for both of us, bless him!

We then headed to the apartment where we were going to be spending our two nights together. The apartment was in a former warehouse in the city centre and the conversion was absolutely beautiful. Heckler and I spent some time, ahem, “catching up” before he made a chicken and bacon risotto.

On Thursday we had a full day planned:

  • shopping during the day. Boy, was Miss B spoiled rotten! Amongst other things, I got two beautiful lingerie sets, and some MAC makeup! We didn’t bother with lunch because next on the agenda was…
  • dinner at a rather swanky city centre restaurant. Before we were shown to our table, we headed to the bar, where I had my favourite cocktail, the Porn Star Martini! We both had meat that we cooked ourselves on hot stones that were brought to our table. I had fillet steak, and Heckler had ribeye, and we both thought that the food was delicious! And the desserts were to die for! After the meal, we went to…
  • a city centre lap dance club. Yes, dear readers, you read right! Years ago, during a pub crawl with some (female) friends ended up in a local dance club. Being the naughty deviant that I am, I was completely up for getting a lap dance, but my friends chickened out. They promised to buy me a lap dance for my next birthday.

Until last night, I was still waiting.

I had imagined there being a squad of beefy bouncers on the door, ready to turn away anyone who didn’t look right. But there was one single chap on the door last night, who also served as ticket seller and cloakroom attendant.

As I expected, I was the only female there who was not a staff member. Apart from 2 bar staff, every other lady was wearing very little – and some of them were in action removing even that!

Heck got us a bottle of Bud each and we settled down to watch proceedings. At first I had no idea where to put my eyes, as it seemed that everywhere I looked, there were boobies and bums all over the place! But I relaxed a little and my attention was drawn to a beautiful young woman who was dancing for a guy a little way down the bar from me. He was looking distinctly tense during the dance. Who wouldn’t be – if she’d been any closer to him, the act would have become illegal! At the end of the dance, the chap shuffled off – presumably to take care of a bit of “tent pitching” in his trousers…

I started small talking to Heckler, when the dancer I’d just been watching came over to say hi. We introduced ourselves, and the dancer, Lucy, asked if we were together. Heckler said yes.

Lucy: Wife? Girlfriend?

Heckler: Mistress!

Me: :O 😀

Lucy: :O 🙂

So after that bit of small talk, Lucy asked if I would like a dance. I refused, screamed and ran away to hide in the toilets for an hour.

Did I hell! Of course I said yes! So Heckler looked after my drink, bag and coat while Lucy took me to the “naughty corner” for my first ever lapdance…

Without going into to too much detail, the experience was terrific. Lucy’s body was utterly amazing, perfect skin, not an ounce of fat or cellulite anywhere. There wasn’t a great deal of small talk, as I was a touch nervous, and soon I was silently sympathising with her previous client (obviously without the tent in his trousers!)

After the dance we chatted for a little while. It turned out that Lucy was married with a young daughter and whenever she went away with her husband, they would aim to go to a lap dance club at their destination. Lucky husband….

I rejoined Heckler with a bit of a grin on my face, and we carried on people-watching. We were soon joined by another dancer called Gemma, and I got a double length dance from her. Back in the naughty corner I went, this time joined by Heckler as a witness. This dance was much more relaxed. Gemma and I were chatting as she danced, and she said dancing for me made a nice change from dancing for “smelly men”. I really got into the groove of the music and starting dancing in the only way I know how when sitting with my legs apart and hands on either side of me – twisting at the waist. Gemma noticed and asked me if I was shaking my “Tic Tacs” at her! The best part was when my face became the filling in a bare boobie sandwich! 😀

Once Gemma had completed the dance, we finished our drinks and walked back to the apartment, where Heckler was very well rewarded for his generosity… 😉

On Friday we slept until 9am. Heckler made breakfast in bed, then sadly it was time to pack and check out of the apartment. We braved a small Black Friday crowd at the local department store so I could get yet another MAC eyeshadow, then went to a local museum. Heckler had sent some gifts to our mailbox, and on the way there, he got a call from Mrs Heckler. (He was supposed to be on a train back from London.) He took the call!

Heckler (to Mrs H): I’m on the train (blah blah blah)

Me (absolutely cringing and thinking the worst)(thinks): No you’re not – you’re actually on the busiest ROAD in the city, with lots of cars and lorries and stuff. How the hell are you going to pass THAT off?

Well, the iPhone 5s has a noise cancelling microphone which reduces background noise when held up to your ear! So there you have it! Phew!

Thank you so much Heckler. I had a wonderful time. xxxxxxx

I almost forgot – the interview I had on Tuesday?

I got the job – but I turned it down. I’d been having reservations about it ever since I’d received the invite to interview, and I wasn’t going to make the same mistake of taking the first job offered, just because it was offered.